Ryan is sixteen months old now so that is perfect timing for his birth story, right? When I was pregnant with him, I pored through all of the birth stories that I could find. I couldn't read enough, and those stories of mothers and fathers meeting their child for the first time helped me immensely in my own preparation to meet our baby. As late as it is, I want to share our story with hope that it might be able to help, entertain (as you can tell, my version of entertainment is really thrilling) and hopefully not scare an expectant mother too much. In true Katrina style, it is quite verbose. I apologize in advance to your tired eyes.
On the Eve of 2012
On
New Year’s Eve 2011, Chris and I sat in the Potbelly’s off of Clybourn and
Webster in Chicago downing our favorite sandwiches that we so missed since we
had moved away from Chicago to South Bend the month before. Mine was filled with chicken salad,
lettuce, tomato and hot peppers, and we ordered sandwiches to take home with us
to eat the next day, too. I guess missing Potbelly’s is an understatement. We
were killing time before we had to pick David, my brother-in-law up from the
airport, and then we were going to surprise our friends at the New Year’s Eve
Rugby Formal.
The rugby formal had been a huge point
of contention those last few weeks of pregnancy. Chris was in favor of going as
long as the roads were clear even though it was the night before my due date
because he thought it would be great to see our friends rather than sit around
waiting to see if my water had broken or if I just couldn’t control my bladder.
I on the other hand did not want to stray from our little apartment for fear
that the baby was just going to drop out of me in the middle of the party.
Okay, I didn’t really think that, but I will be the first to admit that
pregnancy hormones caused occasional (read: frequent) lunacy in me. I wanted to
hole up and just wait for the baby to come, and since Chris disagreed with me,
crazy accusations just spewed out of my mouth. He didn’t care about his
pregnant wife, he regretted having a baby, he loved parties more than his baby.
Ha! Anyone who knows Chris knows that without a doubt NONE of these are
remotely true. Nevertheless, my pregnant brain wouldn’t relent. I KNEW that Chris’ mom would agree
with me that not going to the party was the best decision so I had him call her
to ask what she would do. Imagine my surprise when she said that she would go
to the party because it is better to keep doing things than just waiting
around. What!!!!! Pregnancy monster tamed. I couldn’t really ignore someone who
at the time had gone through eleven pregnancies so I agreed that if I were
feeling well enough and if the roads were clear, we would go to the party until midnight, kiss
and ring in the New Year with our amazing friends and then head home.
I had been so lucky to have a dream
pregnancy. Minimal nausea, I was able to walk two miles each way to and from
work for most of the pregnancy, I could sleep other than the nightly bathroom
breaks, my baby was perfectly placed and never once kicked me in the ribs or
made me too uncomfortable. I felt great! At my last appointment, I asked the
midwife if it was normal to feel so good when all I read about was how people
could not wait to evict their womb resident as his or her lease reached full
term. She laughed and said that it’s not a rule to feel miserable. Then the
last week rolled around, and I. Blew. Up. My legs were like memory foam, and if
I sat cross-legged, there would be a dent deeper than my desire for mac
and cheese left on my leg. We went to meet up with Chris’ college roomie on
December 30th, and I tried to put on my maternity jeans that buttoned
like normal jeans (thank you, elastic…). I could not button them so I made
Chris try. He couldn’t do it. I remember laughing while he pulled and pulled
and challenging him , “Aren’t you strong enough??” Well, it turns out that even
though Chris is strong, he is not a miracle worker. The baby had dropped so low
that there were inches between the button and the button hole so I had the tradeoff
of finally being able to breathe versus only fitting into leggings and dresses.
Tie this together with the exhaustion that had set in and our fun plans to
celebrate the New Year in Chicago had a chance that was as fat as I was. It was
not going to happen.
Then New Year’s Eve came, and I felt
fine so we decided to go to the party, but told our friends that we weren’t so
that we could surprise them. I felt like I needed to nest. All of a sudden I
just had to wash all of Chris’ dress shirts and do it well. I looked up the
best way to wash them, removed the shirt stays, spread a mix of baking soda and
vinegar inside the collars, rinsed with vinegar, washed again, hung them to dry
and then ironed them. Yeah, I can tell you that that hasn’t happened again
since Ryan was born. Then I went to town cleaning the stove. All of this
standing up didn’t help my swelling at all so when it came time to get dressed
for the party, I had cankles the size of well, the size of my calves. Those
cankles helped me walk the path to crazy pregnant lady land, and I sat on the
floor in my dress in front of our closet whimpering that I couldn’t hide my
cankles while Chris stood over me with a perplexed face that showed that he was
debating if he should honestly answer my question about if my black tights
helped slim down the cankle look or not (and release sobs) or stretch the truth
and reply with a rehearsed, “Honey, you look beautiful in anything” (and release
sobs). Poor husband.
Eventually, I pulled the tights on, my blue heels
with sequined bows out of the closet and pulled myself together enough to face
not going to the bathroom for the next hour and forty-five minutes in the car.
Fast forward to the party after we had Potbelly’s dripping with hot peppers,
surprised our friends with ourselves and a beach ball and freaked a few out
that I might go into labor since it was my due date and all. I went to the
bathroom, and (this is where it starts to get graphic for all of you non-birth-story-lov
ers reading) there was mucus with blood in it. Bloody show. Great name. I knew
it was a sign that labor could start soon, and I caught myself slowly breathing
in and out as I realized that this all was really happening. I went back out to
the party, but I kept the presence of bloody show to myself because well, it
isn’t exactly social gathering conversation material. How’s your new job? Oh
me? I just went to the bathroom and found bloody show. No, it isn’t a nail
polish color.
Chris and I took advantage of the fact that this
would be the last time with our friends without a little one in tow and had a
great time. It was so heartwarming to hear how excited everyone was for the
baby. We have some pretty awesome friends. The clock struck midnight for the East Coast, we kissed and
cheered and then an hour later we kissed again for the central time zone. Our
baby was officially not a tax savvy baby as he or she hadn’t made an entrance
early enough for a 2011 tax break. We drove home and fell asleep right as our
heads hit the pillows. The night had been a success.
Blowfish |
New Year's Day, 2012
I woke up the next morning at 10:00 to what felt like mild period
cramps…so mild that I had to concentrate on them to assure myself that I was
actually feeling them. I searched for a contraction counting app on the iPhone
and downloaded a free one.
Our
apartment was super clean thanks to my nesting and my hospital bag was packed
so I searched my brain for something to do. I realized that I hadn’t put the
last album of wedding photos up on Facebook, and I better get them up before
the next big event in our life. What a priority (and as I write this now with a
baby I am marveling at how much time I used to have! I didn’t even appreciate
it). I texted a few people while doing that, but I didn’t really say much about
the regular contractions because I had this bizarre thought that if everyone
knew I was in labor, I would feel so much pressure about if the baby had come yet
or not. So I just kept it quiet. News flash, Katrina: everyone was already
wondering about the baby’s arrival.
Late
in the afternoon, I decided that I must bake a pumpkin pie. So I started to
make the crust when I realized that it was almost dinner time, and I hadn’t
planned anything for us to eat nor did I want to make anything. Pumpkin pie,
yes. Dinner, no. I told Chris that I felt bad ordering pizza when I was
perfectly capable of making dinner, and he replied that I was 40 weeks pregnant
and deserving of delivery (ha ha). Love that man. Hotbox Pizza was the only
place close that was open on New Year’s Day and delivering so one thin crust
pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos headed our way. The contractions were
picking up in intensity, but I still wasn’t in much pain, just discomfort like
I had been the whole day. We wolfed down the pizza, and I went back to baking
the pie.
All
of a sudden I felt a change in the contractions, and I could no longer continue
to do things during a contraction. I had to stop mixing the pumpkin filling to
relax my body through the contraction, then I would rush through as much as I
could before the next contraction came around five minutes later. The
contractions still only lasted 30-40 seconds or so and I was determined to wait
it out until at least midnight so I was happy that I hadn’t reach the 5 minutes
apart, 1 minute long for 1 hour which is the normal point to head to the
hospital. I also had tested positive for the Group B Strep so I was going to
have to get antibiotics either once my water broke or once I got to the
hospital. If I was just having contractions, I could labor at home until the
5-1-1 point (my midwife even said 3 minutes apart would be apart since this was
my first baby and we lived so close to the hospital) which was ideal because I
wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. I had prayed that it would
work out this way.
Once
the pie was in the oven, I got into the bathtub to see if it would help the
contractions. It definitely helped me stay calm, and I tried to relax my whole
body like we had practiced. Chris and I had read Husband-Coached Childbirth:
The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth , but we didn’t attend any Bradley
childbirth classes or anything because we were cheap and by the time we had
moved to South Bend, it was too late to start one. Even the hospital childbirth
class was full! I just read birth story after birth story to prepare myself,
and then the Bradley book was so helpful. With each contraction, I relaxed my
whole body from my forehead to my toes, taking care to relax my jaw and lips,
which helped the rest of the body to relax. Chris came in and gave
encouragement through the contractions by saying simple, sweet things like, “We
are going to meet our baby,” and that he loved me just like the book
recommended. The contractions kept getting stronger and stronger, but I was
under some delusion that I was going to be able to hold out until midnight. I
asked Chris if I should get out of the bathtub with the plans of getting back in
the bathtub later to wash my hair or if I should just go ahead and just take a
bath. I was leaning toward just getting out, but Chris could see that things
were picking up and that I should go ahead and bathe. Good thing he did!
I
finished bathing and then stepped out of the bathtub. I distinctly remember
drying my hair with the hair dryer, having to turn it off, and then leaning on
the bathroom counter to relax and breathe through a contraction multiple times.
Once my hair was dry, I started to put on makeup. I knew it was going to come
off since labor is not the most sweat-free task , but I needed something to do
rather than wait for the next contraction to hit.
My contractions had started to become so painful
that leaning on the counter did not help anymore. The pain was concentrated on
my lower back…the joy of back labor. I started to be in the Bradley Method’s
runner’s position during each contraction in the hope of completely relaxing my
body so my cervix could dilate as quickly as possible. I lay on my side on the floor with my
legs bent as if I were running and focused on relaxing my body one part at a
time while breathing in and out. I silently prayed Our Fathers and Hail Marys
over and over until the contraction passed. The contractions were so painful,
but still manageable when I was doing this. In between contractions, I finished
drying my hair, put makeup on and then I decided that I should paint my
toenails since the nurses and midwife would be seeing them. Looking back that
concern is hilarious since they were going to see a lot more than my toes! It
is also shows me how much time I had to kill between contractions because I
rarely keep up with self-pedicures and because my nesting had made the
apartment spotless. I just needed something to keep my mind off the looming
contractions every few minutes.
After half an hour or so, I started to crave being
on the floor even when a contraction wasn’t happening, and I knew that I needed
Chris to help me relax so I called out to him. I lay down on our bedroom floor
and resumed the runner’s position. I saw a text from my friend, Aubry, that
encouraged Chris and me to pray for St. Gianna’s intercession. St. Gianna had
just chosen Aubry the day before during her family’s annual patron saint of the
year activity. Aubry had also sent me a rosary that was made from olives trees
in the Holy Land, and I rolled it in my fingers in between contractions and
then just let it hang from my hand when I had to relax my whole body during
contractions. Chris talked to me softly through the contractions. I needed him
so much. Oddly, I felt so alive. When I relaxed and prayed, it seemed like I could
feel every nerve in my body screaming at me, but as I would pass the peak of
the contraction, I knew it was okay. I was doing this. I was birthing our first
born.
Each contraction was getting worse and worse. It
felt like someone was squeezing my back in his fist the way a sibling squeezes
your hand during the Our Father at Mass so your knuckles rub against each
other…only multiply that by so much more. I wanted to just tense up and curl up
into a little ball, but Chris’ soft words helped me to stay relaxed even though
it was the last thing I felt like doing.
We thought that it might help if I lay on the bed
so I moved there. Wrong. I could not relax at all on the soft bed. My body felt
so uncomfortable besides the fact that I was going through labor. Back to the
floor I went.
Chris saw once again that things were picking up so
he started to gather our things up for the hospital while talking to me through
contractions. I was not going to have any of that. The crinkle of a plastic
bag, the sound of a typing on a keyboard, the sound of a zipper, anything other
than Chris’ voice threw my concentration off and made me so mad. “Stop. That.
Now.” Chris was no longer allowed to move around during contractions so he
thought that it would be helpful to massage my head. Even worse. “Don’t do
that,” I forbade him in a not so very nice tone. So Chris had to scurry around
getting last minute things done in between contractions, but he had better be
back by the time the next contraction started or things were going to get
ugly…if they weren’t already.
At this point, I wasn’t saying much in between
contractions. I would just finger the rosary, tell Chris when the contraction
started so he could start the timer on the app, relax, breathe, try not to curl
up into a tense ball, try not to curse, try not to whimper, pray, pray, pray, listen
to Chris and then tell him when it was over. My contractions had jumped to
three minutes apart so Chris made the executive decision that we needed to get
to the hospital even though I frantically kept reminding him that we needed to
wait until midnight,
and it was only 10:30! Chris told me that that wasn’t happening and that
I needed to get dressed. Yes, sir. Except not. Each time Chris came back from
taking something to the car, I was still lying on the floor in runner’s
position, naked as I was on my birthday. I honestly could have gotten up to
dress myself, I just couldn’t imagine getting up and ruining my routine that
was helping me survive. Finally, Chris had to grab my clothes and basically
dress me. Chris asked me if I wanted my running shoes since they were comfortable
when he saw the boots I had laid out earlier, but I replied with my priorities
in line that they wouldn’t look good with my outfit. You know, my high fashion
outfit of lint-covered leggings, a maternity shirt stretched to its limit and the
warmest and thickest winter coat of all time. Boots, it was.
To the Hospital We Go
I ran (waddled) to the car through the snow. We were in a snow globe, the snow was falling so hard. We stopped to take a quick photo, and then I tried to relax through a contraction in the car. That was no fun. Chris slowly drove to the hospital, and it took all of three minutes to get there. Thank you, Lord! As we drove through the parking garage and saw sign after sign reserving parking spots near the Childbirth Unit for doctors, I commented very smart-aleck-y that they needed spots for mothers in labor. Chris asked me if I wanted to be dropped off at the door, but I was terrified of being without him even for one contraction so I said no. I sat through one last contraction in the car and then we scurried to the door of the Childbirth Unit.
I ran (waddled) to the car through the snow. We were in a snow globe, the snow was falling so hard. We stopped to take a quick photo, and then I tried to relax through a contraction in the car. That was no fun. Chris slowly drove to the hospital, and it took all of three minutes to get there. Thank you, Lord! As we drove through the parking garage and saw sign after sign reserving parking spots near the Childbirth Unit for doctors, I commented very smart-aleck-y that they needed spots for mothers in labor. Chris asked me if I wanted to be dropped off at the door, but I was terrified of being without him even for one contraction so I said no. I sat through one last contraction in the car and then we scurried to the door of the Childbirth Unit.
I made it to the chairs in the waiting area when
another contraction hit. I went through it silently while standing with my hand
on the chair, and it was horrible. I wanted to be back on our bedroom floor.
After it had passed we made the few steps to the welcome desk to give my
information to the young lady working. While she was looking up my information since
I had pre-registered, another contraction hit. The lady guessed correctly, “Two
minutes apart?” She asked if I wanted a wheelchair or if I wanted to walk to
the triage room. I replied that I would walk because the thought of sitting
down through a contraction sounded so terrible when the baby’s head was so low
and the pressure so great. I slouched over a rail on the wall when the next
contraction hit before we reached triage.
The triage nurse gave me a hospital gown and I
changed out of my clothes. I put on the black sports bra that I planned to wear
because I hoped to labor in the water then I laid down on the bed in the runner’s
position. The next contraction was harder, but it felt more manageable since I
was able to relax much better than when I was sitting in the car or standing up
in the hallway. The triage nurse (she had five kids and I remember wondering
how in the world she went through this five times) started to ask me what
seemed like a million questions about my medical history. I was livid on the
inside. “Isn’t this what you preregister for?!” I screamed in my head. As mad
as I was, I was worried about being impolite during labor so I answered all of
the questions calmly during each of the short spaces between contractions. When
my contractions would start, I would tell Chris to start the timer and try to
relax. However, the nurse would keep typing away, and I was so annoyed on the
inside. Chris thought I was going to bite her head off since he knew that I
couldn’t stand any noise, but I was so scared of being mean that I didn’t say
anything.
The nurse went to let the midwife know that I was
ready to have my cervix checked, and I lay on the bed so scared that she would
come back, check me and tell me that I was only three centimeters dilated and
that I had seven more to go. At my last appointment, I had dilated two
centimeters. What if all of this pain was for one measly centimeter?
My midwife came in and asked us a bit about how
labor had been so far. Then the moment of truth came. I just knew it was going
to be three centimeters.
“Whoa, Mama! Seven centimeters!”
I am cracking up at this! I absolutely love labor- as in, I get excited when I am pregnant because I know I get to labor again :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me want another labor (I mean, baby...).
I didn't make my birth story with Andrew public but I emailed it to people on the blog who wanted it, let me know if you do!
ps- Husbands rock during labor! We wanted an unassisted labor at home with Andrew but God had other plans...
You are so funny and a teensy bit crazy! Haha. With Ryan I was traumatized for about a month and then by three months I was thinking, "I could do it again!" and by six months it was, "I want another baby!!"
DeletePlease do send me the Andrew's birth story! I am a birth story junkie...I love them.
And YES, they do. I don't know if I would be such a great labor partner if the roles were reversed!
I think I sent it
DeleteI love this! What a hoot! The fashion choices while in labor make me laugh :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! And love is blind, and I guess labor is, too, ha!
DeleteKeep typing, I love this!
ReplyDeletePart II coming ASAP! as in probably today.
DeleteSounds great ~ more please.
ReplyDeleteYou were probably thrilled to be 7, meanwhile your midwife is thinking eep she needs antibiotics!
I am praying that I am not GBS positive this time! I hated that IV.
DeleteOH my goodness. I love your birthstory!!! Not sure if you guys did Memorial or St. Joe's but I've heard awesome things about both (and loved my birthing experience at Memorial). Your story has me so pumped to meet our newest daughter later this summer! And after reading that you pushed for three hours I was like, "Um...I will never complain about my pushing experience ever again!" Haha. You're a trooper!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I could not believe it was three hours! Fortunately, Ryan has "paved the way" so hopefully that will never happen again. We delivered at Memorial, and it was so wonderful, although I think a large part of that was because of my nurse. It all depends on the nurse. This time our insurance is at St. Joe's so I hope it is as great!
DeleteCan't wait to read your second birth story this summer :) (well you know, if you share it :))
Lovelovelove!!! This made me SO very happy. I was GBS+ too and sadly my water broke before labor started... so I am pining after your laboring at home! I got to the hopsital 0cms, 0% and-3 station... SERIOUSLY?!?! Hah! Mikey's birth story is on the blog (on it's own page) if you want to read why you are ohsoverylucky to have lots of time to labor! But you can keep that three hour pushing. ;) Oh and I love how good your nurse sounds!
ReplyDeleteI just read it! I loved it! Especially the two boxes of cookies instead of one, ha! I'm impressed that you were able to have a successful induction when arriving at 0. And so happy you got a better midwife!
DeleteYou sweet gal- not wanting to be mean at the nurse! Not many women would be that way! I was in labor ALL NIGHT and got checked at the hospital and was the dreaded 3 cm... can't wait to read the rest :)
ReplyDeleteHaha I'm so weird. I'm sure that nurse has heard worse than, "Please do not type while I am having a contraction!" But hopefully I can stay composed with this one!
Delete